Have you ever tried to make a decision, and you sway back and forth over what to do? Part of you says to do the practical thing, the thing that makes sense. But that decision doesn’t sit well with your heart. Your heart wants to try something different, but you hush that feeling. How can you risk the challenge, risk the pain, with no guarantees? But still that voice persists, telling you that doing the nonsensical thing would feel so amazing! Have you noticed that voice getting louder lately? Is it getting harder to hush?
Or maybe you’ve got a loved one that does things with little to no abandon. You cringe when they do something without considering the consequences. Sometimes you question whether they’ll ever have the motivation to do something with long lasting benefits, instead of living for today. How can the two of you be so close when you are so different? Still, you just can’t help but be drawn to them, soaking up some of their free-spirited energy. That voice you usually hush feels more comfortable peeking out when you’re around them. This could be a sign that your inner dreamer is trying to emerge.
Our society encourages us to be pragmatists. If we do what makes sense, we can live a wholesome, content life. Analytic thinking gets you far; you must plan long-term goals, and have reasonable action items to obtain those goals. This way, you will achieve success thus happiness in life. So, we make rational decisions based on what we think we want, assuming those things will make us happy . . . eventually. We are willing to work hard at things we don’t enjoy, sacrifice instant gratification, and do “the mature thing” all hoping it will pay off in the future.
But what if it doesn’t pay off? What happens if you play by the rules, live pragmatically all your life and, when you look at what you have in front of you, nothing there brings you pure, fundamental joy? Sure, you keep up with the Joneses, but do you feel like the sacrifices were worth making? Can you think of the times where you were filled with happiness? Are you filled with happiness now? Or, did you have moments of joy, but they didn’t stick around for too long?
If your inner dreamer is emerging, what do you do? Do you just drop all your responsibilities and worldly possessions and travel around the world without a plan? Do you leave your partner who you no longer feel connected to, even though it means a lot of practical hardship to do so? Do you quit your job and take up your calling, (sculpting, or dancing, or coffee bean roasting)?
If the voice has started screaming, you may feel you have to do something drastic like this. Hopefully, though, you’re able to act on this voice before needing to be so extreme. Hopefully, you’re willing to acknowledge the value of the dreamer inside you before it becomes a great risk to listen to it. Embracing your inner dreamer every once in a while can add so much richness and beauty and vitality, without compromising too much security and comfort. The pragmatist in me is telling you that you can maintain your pragmatism and still inject the dreamer here and there to get the best of both worlds.
If your 2019 isn’t looking appealing, maybe it’s time to shake things up. Maybe it’s time to let go of some of the fear and doubt to let your inner dreamer out to play. What do you need to do to find the high point in your bell curve? Does it mean taking some time off from work, so you can just do what makes you happy? Is it wearing that outfit that makes you feel like a million dollars, even though it might get dirty when you’re feeding your kids dinner? Is it ditching the family for a weekend, and reconnecting with an old friend that you always had a blast with? Is it writing a love letter to someone who has meant a lot to you?
Throwing caution to the wind from time to time can provide benefits pragmatism just can’t. If it turns out to be an amazing experience, wonderful! But, even if things don’t go the way you hoped for them to when dreaming, the experience itself can be exhilarating, provide some wonderful life lessons, and even possibly a great story for the next dinner party you attend! Even if things go horribly, remember that often it’s the painful experiences we have the best lessons from. Again, if it scares you to listen, remember to start small. Maybe this is the year you learn to entertain your dreamer self more than you have in the past, and find some joy in the drudgery.
